TRANSFORMERS: "MORNING TEA"
Disclaimer: The characters belong to their respective owners; no money gained, only fun.
Author's Notes: I▓m really not good with cars, and just in case you see any lack of correspondence of Jazz▓s physical characteristics to those he had in the 2007 movie throughout this fic √ let▓s just explain it this way: after being reactivated by Ratchet he▓d undergone a procedure of inventive tuning, so anything▓s possible in this universe. I know, it▓s a lame excuse, but I▓m much better at romance than at technology :D
Maggie loved tea. Hot, green, with wonderful smelling herbs. It helped her relax and ⌠feel the Force■, as Glen would say. Especially in the morning. Even more especially after doing a damn good job at decoding the signal from outer space that Optimus had received the previous night. They had woken her up early today, and she came all the way to the Autobot base, and worked on the signal for three hours in a row without lifting her head, and she cracked the code, and she was going to have the heavenly bliss of drinking a cup of green tea that was being prepared on her table.
She was humming a random tune waiting for the ⌠Magic Liquid of Inner Strength Integration■ to be ready to drink when a hip-hop beat came from the corridor outside of her room. That could only be either Bumblebee, or Jazz.
⌠Yo, Maggie,■ a silver head peeked into the opened door, the usually black visor changing its color to blue, green, yellow and orange in rhythm of the music.
⌠Hey Jazz,■ the girl smiled at him cheerfully. ⌠Come in.■
⌠Enjoyin▓ yer tea, huh,■ he half asked half stated, practically dancing into the room to the deep sound of drum▓n▓bass. Upon entering, he lowered the volume of his stereo system to a comfortable level. During their not very long acquaintance she▓d learned that, even though he was a handful of a bot, he respected other people▓s personal space and never allowed himself to ravage their audio receiving body parts while in close proximity to them.
⌠Mm-hmm,■ she purred happily, savoring the wonderful smell that was coming from her cup, which made Jazz chuckle.
The bot came closer and squatted near her table. ⌠Can I ask ya somethin▓?■
⌠Ask away,■ she said in a sing-song voice.
⌠Tell me about sex.■
⌠What?■ She looked at him incredulously, forgetting about her tea. She didn▓t see that coming. As if to make the moment even more dramatic, the bot cut the music off, creating a ringing silence in the room.
⌠Tell me about sex,■ he repeated patiently, each word as clear as day.
⌠Uh┘■ There was a long period of confusion in her brain. ⌠What for?■
⌠I volunteered to discover the similarities and differences between Earth sex and Cybertronian interfacing,■ he delivered without slipping and gave her an evil smirk. It was impossible to tell for sure if he was joking or being serious.
⌠Wow, that sounds pretty serious,■ she chuckled, lifting one eyebrow. ⌠Anyway, I▓m sure the World Wide Web would give you all the needed information, with pictures and videos.■ She briefly wondered if there were any pictures and videos of ⌠Cybertronian interfacing■ in existence, but quickly dismissed the thought, as it was threatening to make her space out, and it was not the right time or place for that.
⌠I▓d like ta hear it from a reliable source, so ta speak,■ he bowed his head slightly, apparently meaning Maggie as a ⌠reliable source■ and adding a smile.
⌠Oh...? Well, I don▓t think it▓s a good idea,■ she shook her head with a laugh. Sam and Mikaela had told her that the Autobots were indeed strange creatures and that they often chose strange topics for conversation, but it was only now that Maggie was starting to feel the full extent of that warning. With an inward snort she made a small sip from her cup.
⌠I think it is,■ Jazz insisted. ⌠Hey, it▓s not like yer a virgin.■
Maggie choked on the tea, momentarily creating a mess on the table. ⌠Huh?■ She glared at him. She really didn▓t like talking about sex if it involved discussing her personal life. Especially with males. Even more especially with male alien robots the size of a two-story building. ⌠And how would you know that? Is it your scanning ▒I see all your insides▓ technology or something?■ The defensive tone could be clearly heard in her voice. She grabbed a napkin with her free hand and started wiping the spilt liquid from the table.
⌠Nah, that▓s Doc▓s tactics, I didn▓t do anythin▓ like that,■ Jazz shook his head and held his hands up claiming his innocence. ⌠It▓s jus that yer a beautiful woman an▓ I bet ya have a bunch o▓ males out there offerin▓ ya some┘ cuddlin▓,■ one side of the saboteur▓s mouth curled up into a lopsided grin.
She froze with a cup of tea in one hand and a now wet napkin in the other. Did he just call her beautiful? That was probably his way of showing respect to the physical appearance of the Earth▓s inhabitants in general and of his human friends in particular. Well, that was cute. Or did he really think she was beautiful? That would be an interesting concept. A really interesting one. ⌠And what makes you think I▓d actually accept any of those offers?■ she asked curiously, putting the napkin away.
⌠Well,■ the mech started. ⌠Yer intelligent an▓ open, ya love life an▓ people, ya dig adventures an▓ everythin▓ new √ and,■ he stressed the word, a full smile now playing on his face, ⌠I▓ll be slagged if ya don▓t use yer ▒come an▓ get me▓ charms. You were born with that, trust me, it▓s all there.■
That actually made her laugh. No, she thought in disbelief, Jazz was a particular something among other Autobots, and she now knew what the others missed while he▓d been offline. ⌠Why, thanks for the┘ compliment, I guess┘ Yeah, I think I▓ll take that as a compliment,■ she nodded, still smirking, and then added, ⌠But it really depends on who is making the offer.■
⌠I see┘ So┘■ He looked down at her thoughtfully, head tilted slightly to one side.
⌠So?■ Maggie lifted her eyebrows expectantly, taking another sip from her cup and waiting for him to continue.
⌠May I cuddle ya?■
Shit, the tea was simply bound to go the wrong way this morning.